How didn’t you line the streets with white rose petals and close shops down?
How could you exchange money that day or check your phone?
How didn’t you come and pick me up off the floor?
How did you continue to live and breathe normally?
Could the sun even dare to shine?
You laughed that day? You smiled?
Weren’t you shallow breathing and deep heaving too?
Our beloved is gone.
 
Don’t you understand, this is a death too great.
The most I can do is break teeny tiny pieces off the corners;
morsels of memories,
a handful of pictures, 
or seconds of voicemails.
Because even just a smidgen more would be too much.
This was a life upon which many others were built,
most importantly mine.
 
It feels really unkind, to experience a death so unimaginable,
and be surrounded by a world that continues to turn.
Come gently grief, move slowly.
Though you seek to swallow me whole sometimes,
I’ll bury you too deep to find me.
The world is too vast without my beloved,
for without his line
I am unachored and free.
 
Oh but the beautiful legacy he leaves behind.
The lines of royalty they bequeath.
Do you know my parents created gold from dust,
and queens from sand?
Do you know the prince and princesses that come from their name?
Of their hands many lives were made better,
because of their hands, my life is whole.
From their toil, a whole village was built.
Hold fast dear ones, 
we still remain.
This blood is our bond,
and I see him in you.
I will anchor you,
I will care for you,
I will protect you and hold you up
such was the gift they gave me,
and you will know this love, always.
 
My heart is broken into a thousand pieces,
over and over and over again.
I will mourn you in ten million breaths;
and will only believe,
that I will see you again.
Til then, my beloved Dad, rest peacefully,
and tell Mom I desperately miss her too <3