You came to my door,
I swear I felt you coming from miles away.
 
I knew it was you before you arrived.
Those familiar footsteps
the chill that precedes you,
the shallowed breath
the heavy energy;
the way fear begins to fill the empty spaces in the room.

I knew you were coming,
I felt the shift.
The last minute panic
feelings of helplessness and desperation.
The juxtaposition of one willing the other to hold on,
while the other starts to let go.
 
It was too late to pack our bags and make a run for it.
For a minute I wondered,
should I try and board up the door?
Barricade it?
But I know as well as you do,
it wouldn’t have mattered.
Once you choose, it’s chosen.
The illusion of choice is only that,
an illusion.
We can fight, we can beg,
we can pretend, argue or plead
but ultimately it’s all for not.
You are ruthless like that.
Callous like that.
Formidable like that.
Tough as iron,
unbendable like steel,
what you choose is already gone.
 
You’ve broken my heart into a million pieces
more than once.
You’ve made the unimaginable,
most unbearable absences
mine to wrestle with.
In your wake you leave holes impossible to fill.
I can’t believe we can live,
knowing you will always come again.
Is it our foolishness or arrogance that allows us to love even still?
 
But I guess this is your virtue.
Your inevitability turns everything to gold.
You make all things precious.
The finality of you makes every breath beloved.
There isn’t time to waste,
or take for granted.
You make love the highest priority.
Your threat is our promise.
Your call is our response.
You’ll come, but we will love while we wait.
Every minute matters,
every hour counts.
We’ll thank God every day,
and relish in the warmth and sweetness of all we most love.
Knowing you will come again,
we will love wholly and completely.
We will love ‘til we burst, leaving little space for regret.

You make wildly loving,
the most we can do. <3